Don’t make it about the narcissist.
Yes, the narcissist is a complete a**hole. – Abusive, exploitative, unfair, cruel, vain, vile and just a terrible person.
But why don’t we just let go of this person in our minds and hearts?
Why do we hold on to the pain and the trauma that came from the narcissist?
Because it all doesn’t make any sense, because their love was a lie or because there’s a bigger trauma underneath all of this that is so much a part of our being that we don’t know how to let go of it?
I think it’s all of these 3 things and probably more, depending on your situation.
But would this one person really be that important in your life if they didn’t remind you of former trauma(s) ?
I don’t think so.
Meeting a narcissist is like falling into an entanglement in the deepest pits of hell. But why is that so? Why does one person have so much power over us?
Magic:
One of the reasons may be that they did, in fact, practice magic on you and put a domination and control / “love” spell on you.
If you believe this may be the case, you need cleansing rituals. You can find free instructions online and on my site.
Cleanse not only the narc energy from your being, but all toxic energy that has ever affected you.
Psychology:
In order to fully let go of the narc and erase them from your mind and heart, including the anger and the sadness because these are emotions that serve you in holding on to the narc, you need to find your original, deeper trauma(s) and release them from your being.
In order to do this, healing faculties / strategies you can consider making use of are:
getting into therapy / counseling
finding a coach
doing past life regression
doing dream work (if you remember your dreams at night/after sleeping)
all kinds of trauma-related therapy and work (somatic experiencing, EMDR)
energy healing (such as Reiki)
hypnosis to release old trauma
herbalism
spell removal / uncrossing / exorcism & prayer
Soul retrieval
just going out into nature and screaming or screaming into a pillow
art therapy / DIY art therapy – starting an art journal and making this a new, self-healing hobby in your life.
… and many other things.
Where do you start?
I’d always recommend finding a capable, trustworthy therapist you are also willing to trust first. Then do everything else, starting with the practice you feel the most drawn to.
If one practice doesn’t work, move on to something else. You may find that everything helps a little or not at all until you find the one thing that helps.
Most of all, create new, positive memories in your life, on your own or with non-toxic people in your life + new, positive beliefs about yourself:
You are worthy.
You deserve positive treatment and if a person isn’t able or willing to offer that to you, you don’t hold on to any illusions about them or try to change them into being good to / for you.
You matter and you are important. Your needs are important.
You can find a way to enjoy life again.
You can find trustworthy people who wouldn’t betray your trust.
Increase your self-care habits and show, signal, prove to yourself everyday that you are a person worth loving and cherishing.