Going numb can be a red flag in dating (or interacting with any kind of person), it can be your intuition telling you that you’re about to get hurt in this situation or by this person, so your brain protects you by shutting down your nervous system, or it can be post-traumatic simply because you run into a trigger and the person is not actually a narc (however, I’d go with the trigger/red flag/intuitive alert warning system and withdraw from that person or situation, to be sure).
Always make self-protection your #1 goal, keep your boundaries intact and, instead of giving other people the benefit of the doubt, become really good at self-protection and listening to your intuition.
If you find yourself in a situation where you are going numb, my advice is to withdraw, take some time for yourself, and do breathing exercises.
My favorite breathing technique is Wim Hof Breathing, 3-5 rounds.
If you can’t immediately withdraw and do your breathing technique, because you’re in a job meeting or any other kind of urgent situation, take note of the fact that you’re going numb, write it in your journal and talk to your therapist about it.
Don’t brush it under the carpet.
Don’t listen to people who tell you to brush it under the carpet. – “Let’s never talk about this again” and the like.
Don’t listen to people who tell you to ignore your own intuition, emotions, warning signs.
Don’t trust other people more than you trust yourself.
Don’t disconnect from yourself.
Don’t stay alone with that feeling, but talk to someone you trust about it.
Don’t talk to the person who triggered you about it, or at least not very much. If you need to explain your absence, do so, but keep it short.
Keep the focus on you and your well-being, not on pleasing other people.
If you’re going numb or feeling otherwise disturbed by an interaction, you’re not doing anyone a service by ignoring your physical response to whatever is happening.
In order not to lose touch with yourself, listen to this impulse and figure out what’s really going on.
It may be as simple as: yes, this other person really is damaging to me.
Very often, we stay in these situations and try to feel something again, for example we stay with a narcissistic or otherwise partner and starting blaming ourselves for our “weird” reactiveness to their behavior.
My short advice is: “Don’t.”
Sometimes you don’t need additional information and you don’t need to stay in that situation or with that person, you can just leave.
If you can leave, do so.
Whatever it is, if you are going numb while interacting with a person, self-care needs to be on the top of your list – not pleasing that other person.
Going numb can be an indicator that you are disconnecting from yourself, or that you are only just waking up to the fact that you already have disconnected from yourself in order to emotionally attune with that other person.
If you feel that this is the case, you need to return to yourself ASAP.
Do this with the help of a therapist and/or breathing technique.
Stay safe.